Hoodrat 101
 I'm
new to DaeLite City and these people really don't know the true me yet. I
was trying to be civilized like I can be, but sometimes..... er uh... your
true colors come out. People can do that to you when you least expect it.
This is the letter I received from one of my not so admirers:
Autumn: Oh no that heffa ain't got on my jewelry!
All up in my stuff like it's a yard sale or something! Hey, Jay Jay, are
you going to send that to the jewelers to be professionally cleaned, I don't
know where HER ears have been...
Jaidan: AUTUMN! Behave yourself now!
Autumn: Boy, please, SOMEBODY must done TOLD you
WRONG!
Jaidan: Oy vey!
See you can't try and help some people. I was nice enough
to try on that lovely jewelry set to make sure it would look okay. Miss Harley
wanted to ensure it would hang nicely on such a pretty "doll" like
Ms.
Autumn. Never would I have expected in a million years she would object.
But when you don't expect it.... expect it.
Alright. Now that I have given you my position, as one of integrity
should, I must pull out my fangs. Grrreerrrr!!!! My true colors are beat'n
me upside da head want'n ta come out.
For those of you who aren't up on these things, let me give you a lesson
in Hoodrat 101. Sometimes you can take the rat out of the hood, but you can't
take the hood out of the rat. That Mz. Autumn-Whatever was all prim and proper
in one of the prettiest fashions I've seen. But ya know what? Ya can't hide
a rat.
I knew the huzzie was hood cultured from the start. Something about
those eyes. No matter how much you dress huh up, those beadie eyes gave her
away. That stank-budd attitude just prooves my point. Callin me a heffa.
Where she get off? Sha betta be glad that jewelry was mailed before I saw
dis. Otherwise, I woulda caught a bird to Texas and commensed to snatch huh
bald. Sheh don't deserve no prize. A real beat-down is what she deserves.
She just don't know me like dat. Like I always say, "If ya don't know; ya
bedda ask somebody". And I know how come she won dat contest. Sheh prolly
threatened da otha girls so they wouldn't enter.
I must not stoop to her level. I must contain myself and act like a
lady. But dat stank-budd made me so mad. Er uh, I mean... The woman upset
me so much. Uhh uhh ( in crying voice). I have never been so humiliated in
all of my life. To be called a heffa. I am so hurt. I am so crushed. Oh,
oh, oh. Just like I'd like ta crush her. Oh my gosh. What am I saying? Devil
stop putting those bad thoughts in my head. Get thee behind me like you got
behind her nasty bum. I mean, I rebuke you.
I'm back now. Whew! I have not resorted to such divatude since I finished
college. I just want to thank Miss Harley for allowing me to use her diva
station.
So people the moral is, don't ever trust a hoodrat. Just send them back
crawling to the dirty sewers and nasty alleys where they belong.
So, until next time, this is Stacia, WDIVA-TV.
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